I'm Going to Have Something to Say Someday

This post is dedicated to the very forward individuals I have met in my non-virtual life since the creation of this blog who have not been afraid to say things to me when I was a stranger to them or barely beyond a stranger.

Things that would "creep out," "freak out," or "offend" others in our overly sensitive and cautious social interactions have been said to me, but I cherish them all. I respect forwardness and honesty and I find it both pleasurable and comical, per instance.
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I've been looking back at some old posts, particularly those from 2007-2009. I used to talk about the random things that brought fascination and joy to me during this extremely varied period, which I nonetheless have specific affections for.

When I started this blog, I was in my first semester of college.

I was in a communications class--a writing class--and the professor felt moved to bring the class to silence to tell me, "You're going to have something to say someday. I don't know what it is you're going have to say, but when you know what it is, you better say it." It was quite like the movies in the way that it occurred and in the way it replays itself in my memory.

I already was heart-set on library school for graduate school, and at the time some of the internal and external support and systems of support for the library realm started to crumble. Though I hold such strong beliefs in public libraries, I'm looking at my path right now and my trail of words behind me.

The blog and my mind seems to have taken a jump into the library abyss. Inconclusively, this is neither fair to me nor the being associated with the eye(s) of the reader-- i.e., you. The keyword here is inconclusively. This takes me back to the words of that professor.

I consider and hope that perhaps through what I write (say), it will galvanize people to use their public libraries for books, audiovisual materials, research with the help of a librarian, programs, or quiet space, just to name a few.

There is also relevancy for me to put of something "random," such as fascinating facts about sunflowers or the beautiful sunsets I have captured in photographs lately. I am human, this is one of my voices, and such posts could be a gateway to my efforts in the public library advocacy campaign via my posts about libraries. The non-library posts are what make me a librarian and advocate with a personality, even if such posts are a small glimpse into it. It is most likely a worthless mental battle to question the worth of stating what matters to me when I am provoked to post it. It would hopefully sort itself out.

Sometimes I fear the passion is not enough or cannot transcend the virtual space of the blog and the specifics of the reader. One meaningful way in which my worries have been rectified has been through a remarkable young man I met in graduate school who was immediately aware of and affected by the passion I apparently expressed and/or radiated, and he was not shy to tell me so. It had an impact because while certain colleagues have expressed some admiration of how I truly feel, they for the most part already get it.

I hope readers experience what this young man had experienced and that they take the opportunity to use their public libraries are regularly as they can. At heart, that's all I ask when I end up writing about library topics. I feel when more people are using their public libraries not only out of necessity but more importantly by choice, public libraries have a better chance at being able to sort out the issues we have (advocacy, budgets, user needs, technology, etc.) thanks to some help from our main supporters, the tax payers.

Are these library things the earnest words I was meant to say? To me, my words on the subject feel very unfinished in a way I cannot express. What I do say, I can say along with a similar group of speakers, writers, and professionals, but it sometimes feels as if they are as useful as citizens complaining about the government.

I promise a conclusion here. This blog is what it is--a lot of words and a lot of this and that. I am going to have something to say someday, and when I know what it is I am going to say it. I sure hope that circumstances are set to where it is said to millions of United States citizens and that it has to do with public libraries and using them. I also do not want to lose the thrill of coming across treasures within the tangible pages or even virtual pages and then writing about them. It is relaxing in a unique way. So, from here I am recommitting myself to continuing on. (Sounds stupid, right?) If I have something to say, I'm going to say it because, as that one professor may feel, it best be said.